Gray hairs. Something typically seen in older people, skunks and in this case, me. Yes, you read that correctly. I am a 17-year-old girl who is already growing gray hairs. Though I suppose I have always had gray hairs, I never truly noticed them until freshman year of high school.
As a new face to the halls of Staples High School, I should’ve been excited, hopeful and curious but instead I was scared, insecure and stressed. I thought everyone who saw me only saw my gray hairs.
Every period I would listen to my teacher yap parabolas while I plucked my gray hairs until I heard the bell. And even though my sister had always told me that once “you pluck one gray hair, 10 more grows in its place,” I never listened. Although that isn’t exactly scientifically accurate, I believe the expression is linked to the fact that once you start looking for gray hairs, you start fixating on every gray hair found.
Unfortunately, she was right. Every time I looked in the mirror, all I could see was my gray hairs. Every time I met someone new, I shook in fear that they would make fun of my hairs. It started to take over my life.
I then dyed my hair in my sophomore year in order to get rid of these ugly hairs but they only came back stronger than before.
I then tried something that changed how I view myself. I put up a photo of me as a child and told myself that everytime I criticize my gray hairs or anything else about me, I’m really belittling that little child in the photo.
Ever since then I was able to see everyone that always told me that they loved my gray hairs, and I finally believed them. From family to strangers, I’ve always been complemented, yet I couldn’t see the beauty until this summer. I was now able to feel confident about something I once thought was a fault.
All that time I spent complaining about how I looked, I could’ve been content with myself and living with less pain than I needed to.
It just goes to show how we have to stop being so hard on ourselves and realize that nobody is fixating on your characteristics but yourself. The judgment we put on ourselves is too difficult for anyone to handle.
Being able to embrace my gray hairs allowed me to feel good about myself, and it improved my mental health. It allowed me to feel like I had a gold metal around my neck instead of these silver oddities growing off my hair. Finding this beauty in myself turned out to be more important than anything.
