Do your classmates roll their eyes when you make a comment in the Socratic Seminar? Does your teacher only call on you when they’re in the mood for a good laugh? Do you sometimes feel like Elle Woods on her first day at Harvard law school? Well you’ve come to the right place! Below are 10 easy ways to instantly become an intellectual threat to your peers:
1. To start, posture is pivotal in appearing wiser. A person slumped over looks weak. Moreover, no one wants to listen to what the hunched-over shy kid has to say. Yank those shoulders back and stand with pride. Elevate the chin slightly and look confident.
2. How many times a day do your friends steal your phone to take selfies? Throw them for a curveball next time they hack in to your phone, by downloading apps such as “Dictonary.com”, “NY times”, and “ACE the SAT.”
3. Along with revising your app choices, fix the music on your iPhone as well. Get rid of the Justin Bieber, and download “Beethoven: The Complete Symphony Collection.” Warning: you probably won’t be asked to make any playlists.
4. Take a look inside your closet. If there is anything with sequins, snake skin, or silver fabric- trash it. Instead go for the preppy look, with a tailored blazer, a crisp white blouse, and a modest plaid skirt. The days when it was acceptable to look like a Halloween costume are long over.
5. Additionally, when it comes to wardrobe, try to own logo wear from only the most prestigious of universities. Anything from a Princeton t-shirt for practice, to a Dartmouth sweatshirt for a casual dog walk should suffice. And of course the Ivy League bumper sticker is a must.
6. Now that your clothes have improved, its time to address that hair. Pigtails and bed head only provoke laughter behind your back. Take your hair and tie it up far from your face in either a neat bun or ponytail. Yes Marilyn Monroe curls are playful, but we all know an Audrey Hepburn up-do screams of intellect.
7. It is crucial you invest in a pair of glasses. They can be the trendy Ray Ban wayfarers with clear lenses, or a boring black pair with tape between the lenses, just make sure you have frames around your eyes. Glasses will instantly boost your external IQ.
8. Make sure to always be carrying books. Stick to the bigger ones that allow for plenty of US Weekly magazines to be stuffed inside. Just make sure you are carrying the books right side up…
9. While the words that you say are important, perhaps it is the voice with which you say them that makes people listen. Try and acquire a British accent. It will do wonders to your likability.
10. Finally, next time someone asks you a question- be it your little brother, or tutor- take your index finger and thumb, spread them to about a 60 degree angle, and place them on your chin. Then begin to rub your index finger up and down stroking, your chin. Do this motion for about 30 seconds before answering their question. This technique will make you appear as though you are thoroughly pondering your response, plus all the philosophers did it.
