I’ve been reading the same book for almost four hours. It’s school-assigned, and I may have left a huge chunk of reading for the last minute.

However, I’m deprived of the satisfaction that comes with being able to see the chunk of already read pages slowly accumulate on the books left-hand side. Instead, I have to settle for the depressingly blunt “70 of 473” page counter at the bottom of my iPad’s screen.

This marks my first foray into the more expedient yet somewhat less authentic world of e-Books, which according to USA Today accounted for 20% of total book sales in 2011. And while I’m generally a supporter of technology replacing “old-fashioned” societal mainstays, I have a sore spot for books.

I love the feeling of having a brand-new paperback in my hand, of experiencing the satisfaction that comes along with physically turning a page. Swiping the screen in a so-called “page-turning motion” will never successfully replicate that. Plus, the build-up of a bunch of smudgy fingerprint marks in one corner of the screen from failed swipe attempts – it’s harder than you’d think – gets annoying quickly.

Then there’s the reading at the beach factor. Minus the blood-sucking swarms of mosquitoes that always seem to only attack me, I can think of no more idyllic setting than having a good book to read at a beach on a summer evening. It’s the stuff retirement fund commercials are made of.

I don’t care if a Kindle has a glare-proof screen. That doesn’t make the situation any less hopeless when that five-year-old with a sugar high sends your precious reading material screen-first into a foot of sands.

It’s not like electronics aren’t distracting enough. During my e-Reading adventure, I received notifications from my accounts for iMessage, Facebook, Draw Something, Word’s With Friends, Scramble With Friends, and Hanging With Friends – obviously I make sure my iPad knows I have friends. There’s nothing like an annoying Marimba ring to jar someone out of an intense plot twist.

Reading is supposed to be a time when I shut off and dive into the world of the setting described in the book, or at least that’s what librarians have always told me is supposed to happen.

That doesn’t happen to me on an iPad. It feels superficial, and every time I start to become entranced, I’m thrown back by a notification about someone posting in Kony 2012 for the thousandth time.

E-Readers do have their advantages, like cheaper books and instant access to any title the mind can dream up. For now, I’m going to play the role of the old secretary still using a typewriter and resist the rapidly overwhelming takeover.

I’m not ready to turn the page yet.