I’m not going to sit here and spew all the reasons why I dislike Facebook. That would be boring and ineffective, and you wouldn’t waste your time reading this article.

Also whom am I kidding; even I will never stop checking it every 40 minutes.

I admit, it has its ups and downs. Obviously it’s popular, or else it would be irrelevant already. It boasts its own movie, over 800 million users worldwide, and about a $75 million value. I just don’t understand why anymore.

I find that the more time I’ve spent owning a Facebook, the less exciting it becomes. These days, the only time I find the website to be somewhat engaging is Sunday morning, once all the weekend’s photos are uploaded and I can sit in front of my computer with a tub of ice cream and convince my cat that I didn’t want to go to those parties anyway.

(Just kidding). (Sort of).

Even when I am at a party, reliving it seems to be the only reason people attend. The last time I went somewhere and forgot my camera, it was as if the apocalypse had come early. The only fun I had that night was watching a steady flow of crazy people with murder in their eyes yelling, “What’s the point of this party if it’s not going to be on Facebook?!”

I apologize in advance, but I’m not going to spend the whole night taking pictures of strangers. I can’t tag you if I don’t know your name.

Although I do somewhat enjoy uploading pictures to Facebook, that will only get me through the weekend. What about the weekdays? What about when there’s nothing to relive, nothing to reminisce? For me, the web address sits there endlessly in an unopened tab for no apparent purpose.

Even “checking” my Facebook is really just glancing over my notifications and then going back to whatever more important thing I was doing in the first place. Like rollerblading, for instance. Or punching myself in the face.

Anything would be more important. It’s a meaningless and sad website.

What does anyone do on Facebook? We waste our time liking statuses and praying that the “news feed” will bring us some juicy gossip. You might call that pathetic. You would be right.

How miserable is it that we don’t consider a relationship real until it’s “Facebook official,” that we thrive on fights that blossom in the comment sections? What are we, 7th graders?

Facebook is the new birthplace of high school drama. We used to bully in person, then it was AIM. Now we hack Facebooks to write awkward statuses, or mupload embarrassing photos that the subject can’t delete. And that’s only the tip of the Internet iceberg.

If a website is pointless or uninteresting, that isn’t a reason to hate it. If that were the case, I would hate Twitter, or online games (anybody remember Robot Unicorn Attack? That one’s a classic). No, this isn’t why I find myself gravitating towards the Facebook deactivating button. It’s because of the unnecessary fuss it creates in everyone’s lives.

I’m almost as equally stressed out about keeping up-to-date on my event invites as I am about my homework for the night.

This is why I think we need a Facebook intervention.

I’m not saying cut it out entirely. That would be silly to suggest and nearly impossible. But I think a severe decrease in usage would be in everyone’s best interest. The positive impact could be great; you might get your homework done beforeone o’clockin the morning. You might even stop getting cravings to check your smart phone on intervals during class.

But most importantly, a decline of Facebook use might inspire a little more peace, a little more maturity. If we lost the ability to cower behind a screen, we might gain the ability to actually speak to each other in person.

Consider a Facebook break. It’ll probably be easier than you think.