Lauren Mushro ’14
Staff Writer

This summer I visited Universal Studios for the first time. My friends and I spent a whole day rotating through all the Islands of Adventure and finally came to one land I was particularly fond of.

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

As I was sipping my Butterbeer, I kept asking myself: why can’t Staples be more like Hogwarts?

I’m sure when most people think of a utopian school, they think of Hogwarts. It has medieval architecture and magical secrets, qualities that pull a person in. Who wouldn’t want to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?

Add a mote to Staples and we’re almost there. Only a couple other things might need to be altered.

First project on the agenda: interior decorating. In order to truly become Hogwarts, our wooden benches must be replaced with those of stone, our regular paintings on the walls must talk and move, and any fluorescent light bulbs must be replaced with oil lamps. Hey, that would be more energy efficient, too.

Of course Quidditch has to become a statewide and FCIAC high school sport.

I also suggest we split the school up into houses. Students could take an online personality assessment, which will then place them in the house they’re most suited for.

When teachers give out textbooks at the beginning of the year I know they are afraid of the state they will get them back in. Well now they wouldn’t have to, not with our Hogwarts-esque leather-bound textbooks!

Some students and teachers had ideas as to how to make Staples more like Hogwarts as well. “We could start by calling chemistry potions, calling social studies history of magic, calling world languages ancient runes, and calling horticulture herbology,” Haley Randich ‘14 and Eliza Llewellyn ’14 said.

Llewellyn and Randich also suggested that instead of using the A, B, C, D, and F grade scale, we should have “Harry Potter-esque” grades like O, for outstanding, and D, for dreadful. I say we advocate for different class labels.

Ally Krubski, a biology teacher, said she would want “An invisibility cloak and a laser pointer wand for [her] smart board.” She also thinks that the “biology labs should be in the dungeons, and instead of buses, we should have trains.”

With these minor changes, Staples could be just like Hogwarts in no time!