Eliza Hamburger ’10
Opinions Editor

It’s a hair tie, it’s a rubber band, it’s a bracelet.

It’s a Silly Band.

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, count yourselves lucky. I only wish I was fortunate enough to be unaware of this current phenomenon.

I am talking about those colorful elastic bands that are molded into “fun” shapes. They are referred to as Silly Bandz. They come in a lot of shapes and colors. I’ve seen cars, animals, princess paraphernalia, medical equipment, and many others that take shape in rubber band form. This product, sold at places like Learning Express, are presumably geared toward elementary and middle school aged children.

So then why, I ask, are they all over Staples?

I’ll admit to the fact that the way they consistently return to their original shape is kind of cool. I’ll also admit that I have spent a decent amount of time trying to figure out how this happens as well as how to break them.

Don’t judge me. I’m a second semester senior; there is not much else to do.

If anyone out there is wondering, the things are virtually indestructible.

Believe me, I’ve tried.

Anyway, I could even admit to finding them kind of cute, if I didn’t constantly have to hear my friends, both guys and girls, discussing them, trading them or wearing millions on their wrists.

There is no escape.

Seriously though, they are just rubber bands that happen to come in different shapes. Sure, that sounds exciting– if I was in kindergarten.

Some amusement is warranted, expected even. Wearing one once or twice is hardly a crime. But spending real money on packs of them and wearing them constantly is in my humble (read: correct) opinion, unacceptable.

I’ve heard of some high schools banning them due to their tendency to distract students, and I have two reactions to this interesting factoid.

Firstly, really? These stupid little rubber bands for children have become a big enough deal at high schools that they need to be banned? Really? That concerns me, frankly.

Secondly, I not-so-secretly wished Staples was one those schools that banned Silly Bandz so I didn’t have to look at them all the time.

Some people have told me that people wear these bracelet-type gadgets to be ironic. I guess that’s kind of funny, but honestly people, the joke is over. Its gone on long enough.

I may be in the minority with this column. Some may even think I’m exaggerating the existence of these things in our school. Many will continue to be awed by Silly Bandz amazing silliness.

But I stand firm in my opinion– Silly Bandz are lame, weirdly expensive, immature and too silly to merit all the attention I perceive they receive. I’m not really trying to change anything. I only have a couple more days here anyway before I’m interning at the middle school, where I’m sure there will be a whole new level of devotion to Silly Bandz.

Mostly, I really just want to stop hearing about them.

But if you ever see me wearing one, well, I’m kind of indecisive, so don’t judge me too much.

I’m sure if I ever don one it will be the most awesome rubber band in all of existence.

Click here to read about the latest ban on Silly Bandz in the Westport Elementary schools.