Emily Cooper ’11
Business Manager

“Dear Emily,
 
You have come to our attention…,”
You have been identified as…”
Log in to access your free…”
 
On the scale of about 15 per day, I receive a deluge (SAT word) of college emails encouraging me to explore the wonders of college X.

It all started with the PSAT. Naïve me, I checked off that little box allowing colleges to email me on the basis of my scores. I guess I recalled that when I was much younger I was so desperate to get mail, my best friend, who lived across town, and I became pen pals.

Big mistake.

Since then, my gmail inbox has risen from three to six percent full. The sad thing is these emails have no idea who I am. In fact, in one email I was addressed as “Malia-” I guess the university somehow got me mixed up with the Obama’s daughter. 

So, what can one do with the hundreds of these emails?
 
1.   Do you desperately need to remodel your room but the economy prevents this? Consider wall-papering your room with all of these college emails. Imagine lying in bed at night, looking up at your ceiling and feeling so loved knowing hundreds of colleges want you to apply.
 
2.   Interested in purchasing a hamster, gerbil or bunny rabbit? Hundreds of shredded college emails and letters would provide perfect fodder for these pets. 
 
3.   Applying to engineering schools? Impress admission officers by sending back their college mail crafted into a new invention!
 
4.   Is your dog cold? Fashion a beautiful outfit for him or her out of all of the unwanted mail. (Please see: https://www.inklingsnews.com/archives/3730)
 
On a serious note, the most ecologically friendly use of this mail is definitely to recycle it.