Stevie Klein ’12
Web Features Editor
I was walking down Main Street in a very good mood last week, but the smile was wiped off my face as soon as I passed the sweetest looking girl wearing a Hannah Montana shirt. I looked the other way until the girl was behind me, desperately trying to hold my White Mocha Latte in. Ugh. That poor girl is doomed; her idol is Miley Cyrus, and she probably wants to be just like her.
Kids that say they want to be just like Miley are basically saying they would like to seek attention and turn into naughty American teenagers. Miley is determined to leave her good-girl Hannah Montana image behind. This would be considered acceptable if her fans were over the age of 11, but they’re not.
And with such young fans and followers, you would think Miley’s half naked pictures of herself would not have made it farther than her handheld digital camera. But of course they have, reaching millions of computers and magazines across the world. If that wasn’t lesson enough, when she was just 15, Miley appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair wrapped in a blanket and nothing else. Get ready Playboy; if Miley’s fans follow in her footsteps, you will have a great bunch of new models!
The girl gone “wild” dated a 21-year-old underwear model by age 16. Oh bummer Miley, can’t get anyone your own age? Well I’m sure you’re an easy target to those older men. Nick Jonas clearly didn’t want you; you’re not exactly pure enough for his purity ring standards.
Miley once said that she likes to think of herself as the girl no one can get. I find this hard to believe while staring at the adorable ‘pics’ of you and your ‘bfs’ scandalously making out in public venues. And good idea, encourage all little girls to be complete teases! Another brilliant idea by Miley, guaranteed to be instilled in the personalities of tweens near you.
And how could I forget to thank the infamous Billy Ray Cyrus for launching her career. Without his success, or of what little of it he had, she probably would have never booked the life-changing role of Hannah Montana. I mean, her voice is alright, definitely no comparison to that of today’s true famous role models, such as Beyoncé and Taylor Swift.
Not only is her singing mediocre, but one of her only good songs, “Party in the USA” is not even written by her; songwriters Lukasz Gottwald, Claude Kelly and Jessica Cornish should get all the credit. The catchy lyrics have Miley sing that a Jay-Z song helps her get rid of her butterflies; however, Miley blatantly admitted in an interview that she does not even know of any Jay-Z songs. What a fraud.
Miley has even managed to corrupt her concerts. Mostly attended by young girls, even these live performances have become extremely inappropriate. At the Teen Choice Awards, she was dancing around an umbrella poll… very appropriate Miley! NOT. It’s no wonder Radiohead didn’t want to meet her. Then, shortly after her rejection, she claimed she would just ruin them – HA! Does she not realize they’ve been a band almost longer than she’s been alive?
When her fans grow up enough to see what their role model is really like, they’ll be gone. So moms, turn on the TV and watch, for the future of your kids’ lives are sure to wash down the drain as they stare at the newest episode of “Hannah Montana” and pick Miley Cyrus as their idol.
Listen Miley, you’re a 17 year old who thinks she owns the music industry. If you want to be taken seriously in the music world, or any world for that matter, maybe you should not have started out on Disney Channel. Go back to Tennessee; Hollywood doesn’t need any more fake girls with no morals.
