Positive Directions and Westport Weston YMCA held a panel discussion at the Westport Public Library on “The cost of success: what pressure is doing to our kids” on Wed, Oct.19. Experts from Positive Directions, a local center for prevention and counseling, covered causes, effects and methods for easing anxiety related to school and how parents can support their children. 

One of the main topics discussed was that students feel the need to overachieve in their academic, athletic and social lives. Staples students are no exception and take as many honors and AP courses as possible all while taking on big leadership positions and participating in extracurricular activities. Most students over-work themselves in order to please colleges they want to attend. The panel discussed how this pressure affects students’ mental health, causes them to suffer and weakens their motivation.

“When children, teens and even young adults come to us, the biggest issue that they’re having is surrounding their attention, their focus and their energy,” Clinical Supervisor at Positive Directions Frank Castorina said. “It’s hard for them to maintain all their focus and energy all in one spot.”

Staples students Maia Gubitz ’24 and Anya Nair ’24 attended the meeting to talk about their personal experiences in high school and to provide a different perspective. 

“High school is hard because you come in and are told to take all these honor classes and all these AP classes,” Gubitz said. “On top of that there is of course athletic pressures. You are supposed to play a sport and do well in that sport, you’re supposed to make varsity, be the captain.”

Many students at Staples concentrate on taking a high number of honors and AP classes while neglecting to give priority to the courses that they are actually interested in. Due to this, students may have a hard time discovering their true selves and interests. 

Nair added to what Gubitz said, expanding on how students are impacted by the stress and pressure of school. 

“We lose ourselves mentally sometimes,” Nair said. “We don’t know who we are and have this lack of identity,”

  At the meeting, a sheet was given to all the attendees with conversation starters for adults to use with their children. Professionals provided advice for the parents who attended the meeting and were looking to improve their child’s mental health and relationships. They explained that home should be a safe space for kids to be themselves and run away to. It was suggested that parents should ease up on the pressures and expectations towards their children’s performances in school and sports. There were other flyers given out which included additional mental health resources such as SMART Recovery Connecticut and TuningPointCt. 

Gubitz talked about how there are also social pressures in school to maintain a good social presence, dress a certain way and fit in. Additionally, she discussed the pressures coming from parents and their impact on kids. 

“The biggest takeaway that you guys could leave with in my opinion is knowing that doing your best is more than enough,” Gubitz ’24 said.