“Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school. All of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird.”
As the dramatic words of Mean Girl’s Regina George suggest, people in high school can be mean.
News flash: Cliques do exist. Students do feel excluded. And groups of friends do have a huge influence on one another.
At Staples, many downplayed the malice of cliques, saying they genuinely believe that students purely associate with one another due to common interests. “Why would I sit with people I don’t know?” Colin Davis ’13 said.
Emily Eisenberg ’12, described herself as judgmental because she also chooses her groups of friends based on their interests and personality.
“Cliques can form around a common source of interest like a sport, game, or even class they might all like,” agreed Erica Hefnawy ’15.
In the cafeteria, this can translate to tables of similar students. But others like Maggie Walsh ’15 say that they are comfortable sitting with anyone who is in their class.
“The cliques at Staples are not as extreme as in middle school,” said Amelia Heisler ’15.
Eisenberg agrees. “Over the four years of high school, the cliques in middle school have really spread out. In middle school the cliques were very labeled, and now they are more based on interests.”
In middle school, the cliques were much more based on status, Hefnawy explained.
“There were the popular girls, the popular guys, and then groups leveling from there,” she said, referring to the perceived status that people had. In high school, these cliques are not as defined, Hefnawy said.
Sinead May ’12 has a very unique outlook, believing that people create groups because it makes them more comfortable. “I really like to people watch, and I have come to realize that even when people try to act differently, they are all really the same,” she said.
May thinks that people act exclusive because they think it’s cool, but they fail in being mean because deep down they are nice. “People want to be like the cliques on TV.”
Labels other than the common jock or nerd can define groups of friends, some said.
“Every year, I have a few kids who come to me who have made a decision to abstain from drugs and alcohol who, as a result, feel excluded from the Westport social scene,” said Student Outreach Counselor Chris Lemone.
Annika Skjoldborg ’13 agreed. Whether people drink or not affects whom people hang around with on the weekends, and then weekend plans become what groups of friends talk about.
A junior girl who wished to remain anonymous explained that groups of friends become “extremely cliquey” to the point that they are mean to those who are not in the clique. “The only way to get into their groups is if they think you are cool enough,” she said.
Skjoldborg moved to Staples for her sophomore year and explained that the groups are so tightly knit that it becomes hard to fit into a clique. “The girls judge and question the new people,” she said. Lemone agreed with these sentiments and advised people not to be quick to judge.
“A lot of people don’t invite me over when they hang out even though they act nice at school. I then find out I was excluded when they post tons of pictures on Facebook and it becomes really awkward,” the junior girl said.
While it is not always perceived as intentional, many people would agree with the junior girl when she says that clique members just “don’t go out of their way to be nice to other people.”
