Well, would you look at that? The third and final rendition of my annual “Dancing with the Stars” season premiere reviews has arrived. Get ready for me to talk about this and nothing else for the next two and a half months.
I’ve been watching “Dancing with the Stars” for about four years now. At this point, I’d basically consider myself a pro at dissecting what makes the perfect cast. To prove this, I procrastinated doing my summer work by creating a comprehensive list of possible celebrity contestants for this season. With full intentions of bragging, I even got some right: Olympic athletes Ilona Maher and Stephen Nedoroscik, and two Bachelor Nation stars, Joey Graziadei and Jenn Tran. That’s 30.7% of the cast guessed correctly for those keeping track at home.
But back to the action. Overall, the show’s Sept. 17 premiere was one of the most exciting in recent years. To my surprise, 6′ 10″ NBA all star Dwight Howard somehow made his salsa with 5’ 3” partner Daniella Karagach look incredibly natural. The two appropriately danced to Montell Jordan’s “This is How We Do It,” proving that a height difference won’t hold them back this season.
The choreography was fast-paced and included lifts that many would consider advanced for week one. Although there were a few missteps here and there, I don’t think that I could do much better dancing with someone over a foot taller than me, so power to them. Dwight and Daniella received a combined score of 22.
Next up is a star who completely shocked me with her skills: the aforementioned Olympic rugby champion Ilona Maher and her partner Alan Bersten. While I would consider this dance choppy and mid-level compared to some of the others presented in the premiere, I think that this one presents a greater message.
Maher previously posted a video to her Instagram account explaining that she would be competing in order to challenge stereotypes of women’s bodies, and also the importance of challenging oneself to get out of your comfort zone. While Alan and Ilona’s cha cha only earned a score of 18, they both seemed to have a great time while dancing to Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like a Woman,” and I can’t help but appreciate Maher using her platform to inspire others.
And finally, the most controversial dancer of all: Anna Delvey (or Sorokin?). Introduced in her video package as an entrepreneur and fashionista, I immediately began to wonder: should we as a society really be applauding someone wearing an ankle monitor from her grand larceny case on a ballroom dancing reality TV show?
Although I appreciate a good post-cancelation reintroduction to society, for example Olivia Jade on season 30 of the show, this feels… different.
As much as I tried to give Delvey the benefit of the doubt, her dance didn’t motivate me to think positively whatsoever. Delvey and her partner, Ezra Sosa, danced a cha cha to “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter. This last sentence has to be the most ironic statement I’ve ever written, because this was the most low-energy dance I’ve ever witnessed. Delvey didn’t smile a single time while dancing and remarked to host Julianne Hough afterwards that “I am feeling happy that I don’t have to do this dance again.”
Her presence on the show seems like some sort of PR stunt pulled by her publicist, and I didn’t care at all for the fact that she wants viewers to believe her redemption arc while she looks miserable carrying out her choreography.
Overall, despite the presence of Miss Debbie Downer Delvey herself, I think that this season has an insane amount of potential. Although I could yap all day about who my top contenders are, I’ll leave them here as an “I told you so” for later. Actress Chandler Kinney and her partner Brandom Armstrong, as well as Superbowl champion Danny Amendola and his partner Witney Carson are at the top of my personal list. This season is sure to be entertaining, and I can’t wait to see how it ends!
