The end is finally coming. The music has stopped playing. The fists are done pumping. And it is no longer t-shirt time. Ladies and gentlemen “Jersey Shore” has been cancelled.
With this historic event drawing ever-so-close, I have just one thing to say: good riddance.
I know people are going to deal with some withdrawal. “Jersey Shore” is one of the most addictive drugs on the market today. Nobody can argue that.
It was great being instructed about the G.T.L. culture. If this show didn’t air, I would have no clue what the difference even was between the “G” and the “L.”
I will even go as far as saying “Jersey Shore” was inspiring. It was proof that even without a high school or college diploma, you could make more money than 99 percent of the population. Just dance like an idiot and fight a lot.
And don’t even try to say that it wasn’t hilarious watching Snooki scream, “WHERE’S THE BEACH?!” as she was running down the boardwalk of the beach.
We are all going to miss those moments.
But overall, I have to say that this is a good thing for America. We stooped very low by watching this show.
Sure, it was amusing to see just how stupid some people could be. But it was also morally wrong to take advantage of the…let’s say, “less intelligent.” Also, at some point, it starts to rub off on all of us.
“‘Jersey Shore’ is like a disease,” Colin Davis ’13 said. “You need to be aware of the stupidity out there. But you don’t want it to spread.”
Face it, America listening to Snooki try to argue the point that the sea is salty because of whale sperm isn’t exactly helping our intelligence level.
Speaking of intelligence level, everybody is talking about the presidential election right now. Personally, I think Barack Obama should make this part of his campaign. The fact “Jersey Shore” was cancelled under his term of presidency is proof that he is creating a better and smarter nation.
He would win hands down.
After all this is a historic moment. In fact, the moment I heard about the show’s cancellation, I quoted Neil Armstrong by saying, “One small step for man, one large step for mankind.”
Except, I have to say, this is probably a bigger step for humanity than stepping on the moon.
But, to those few who are actually depressed about “Jersey Shore” being cancelled, don’t be too distraught. There will be spin-offs that will run as replacements, such as “The Pauly D Project” and “Snooki and JWoww”.
I don’t think those shows are going to do so well, though. After all, Snooki has a baby. Does anybody feel like watching Snooki run around drunk after a baby Oompa Loompa?
I doubt it.
“It’s basically like a bad version of ‘16 and Pregnant’ except these people are less responsible,” Jack Dobrich ’13 said. At least Staples students can see through the idiocy of these shows. Principal John Dodig, you should be very proud.
So yes, “Jersey Shore” has been cancelled. Cheer while you can, though: those over-tanned high school dropouts are not gone for good.
And that’s for shore.
