As 2011 came and went, so did several horribly entertaining music videos. Here’s what you may have missed from the past year of videographed mediocrity.

3. Ke$ha “Blow”:

I’ve never thought much about it, but I can imagine liking unicorns. They seem like nice enough creatures. However, Ke$ha had to ruin any admiration I had for the species by repeatedly making out with them in her music video entitled “Blow.”  I understand that she craves attention, but there is no reason to ruin childhood fantasies in the pursuit of fame.

I apologize if I am overreacting; I know she’s not hanging her baby out the window here (too soon?).

But for the love of (whatever doesn’t offend you), no innocent child deserves to be corrupted by Ke$ha’s twisted fetishes. I know that it may be difficult to promote musicians who on-ly con-verse with them-selves like this ov-er pre-made beats, but talent cannot be replaced by horses with fake horns and vulgar dancing.

This is especially true when one attempts to combine mystical creatures with a song regarding how “this place [is] about to [figuratively] blow,” a subject that has no correlation with any magical creatures. It would make much more sense to put these visuals with Puff the Magic Dragon.

If you are exhilarated by some unfounded use of shock within this video, I’m not going to judge. Just remember that this may not be the best song to sing in an airport; the ensuing surprise would not be so pleasurable.

2. Willow Smith “Fireball”

I have a lot of respect for the Smith family, so I feel somewhat bad about this. It would be nice to assume thatWillowinherited the talent genes either from her mother Jada Pinkett Smith, or her Grammy/ academy award father Will Smith. She may have the capacity for greatness in the music world, but from what we’ve seen so far, it certainly doesn’t seem like it.

There is no right response to a Willow Smith music video like “Fireball,” because nothing important is said or done. Unexpectedly, the whole song seems to point to the fact that “Willow[respectfully believes she is] the fireball, [she hypothesizes that she’s] the fireball, [apparently she’s] the fireball.” And really, I’m happy for youWillow-I’m very glad that you think you’re “the fireball”; I don’t understand what that means anymore than I comprehend the definition of whipping your hair back and forth, but have fun with that.

Maybe I’m being slightly unfair in that it would be near impossible for any director to properly portray an 11-year-old while making her sellable. However, I cannot deny that it’s somewhat uncomfortable watchingWillowpretending she’s 10 years her senior; nearly the whole music video is a close-up of her masked in makeup while dancing promiscuously with 20-year-olds behind her.

I don’t know if the thought process was along the lines of, ‘“Maybe if we batheWillowin Mascara and have her talk about her “fresh [twenty year old] crew,” then people will forget that she is an 11-year-old girl from an affluent family.”’ Well unfortunately forWillow, we’re not that stupid.

1.Rebecca Black “Friday”:

I feel terribly mainstream hating on Rebecca Black, but what else am I supposed to do? As a journalist, I apparently have a responsibility to tell nothing but the truth. There really is no way of getting around it; Rebecca Black very well may have produced the worst music video of all time. This is especially accurate when one takes into account the $4,000 dollars paid to Ark Music in the hope that the production company could provide the music, creepy rapper, and large quantity of auto-tune necessary to make Rebecca a star. Needless to say, the plan didn’t exactly come to fruition.

Corny is a vast understatement in describing the music video. There is honestly not a word that does justice to verses like “Kickin’ in the front seat/ sittin’ in the back seat/ gotta make my mind up/ Which seat can I take.” And one can only laugh at the visuals, for example of Rebecca driving with her 13-year-old friends in a poorly animated freeway without an adult.

The fact that Rebecca’s mother never told her daughter, “you know that me and your father love you, but this music video is absolutely awful in every way; I think I regretted having you,” is a testament to what a great family Rebecca has. But the overall fame she received also reflects badly on our perception of music. There is, most likely, some incredibly talented, 12-year-old rapper inHarlemright now who would dream of getting $5,000 views on YouTube, let alone over 150 million.

Her case is unique in that almost everyone sees her music is a joke, as displayed by the 87 percent dislike-to-like ratio on the video. But many well-received artists, who will go unmentioned, are heavily admired despite being clearly unqualified to make music.

They can’t write, produce, or sing. So why are these people megastars, while many truly gifted musicians reach a dead end in the music industry before even starting? The answer is the music video. By no means am I suggesting that the medium is evil or bad; I am only reminding you that if there is a moral to the atrocious productions I shared above, it revolves around us adoring artists for how they look, rather than how they sing.